Barnquest - One Guys Search For The Elusive Barnifus Findicus

I am going on a vision quest, an adventure, a walkabout, a mission from God, all in an attempt to find the Barnifus Findicus; otherwise known as the "Barn Find". More elusive then a Chupacabra, an authentic Barnifus Findicus is a rare find as they are generally hidden from view their entire life. Many folks are fooled by imitations falsely disguised to look like it, and the latest trend of locating barn finds, crudely resurrecting, and then driving them in all their patinaed glory isn't helping much either. Armed with fresh cash from a recent vehicle sale, I set out to find this elusive beast.

Technically, there are not many barns in Southern California, so locating an actual "barn find" here would be akin to finding the Holy Grail. I am hoping to find a car that has been languishing in a garage for a couple of decades or more, but I would probably settle for a vehicle that has been somebodies yard art and is ensconced with weeds. At first I will concentrate on a sub-species of Barnifus Findicus known as Bigius Ponticus (full size Pontiac), but I will also keep my eye out for a Largus Oldsmobilus. If I'm really lucky I might even spot a Giganticus Moparus!

Short of canvassing the entire countryside block by block to locate my prize, I had to utilize a more systematic approach to my search. My plan was simple, I would just ASK - as in Ask Someone you Know! Ok, technically thats "asyk", but that word doesn't exist. Actually, looking at it spelled out, "asyk" almost works... maybe. Anyways, no sooner then I had put the word out that I was looking for bottomless money pit, err, I mean project car, the leads started flowing in. Of particular interest was a 60's something Plymouth that I got a lead on from work. The story went that the owner had bought his house 15 plus years ago and the Mopar was in the garage. Apparently it came with the sale of the house and supposedly had been in there since the late 70's. I got the contact information and started calling... and calling.... and calling, all to no avail. It's not that the owner didn't want to sell, it's that he didn't care weather he sold it or not. Timing was everything here and I had to catch him at just the right moment. Well, I kept calling but other leads were coming in and I was getting impatient. That money was burning a hole in my pocket! My interest was really piqued after a brief conversation with the owner. Although he didn't know the exact year of the car, he told me it was a 2 door with a 440 and a stick shift. When I asked him how he knew it was a 440, he said it was on the hood. That's all I needed to hear! Holy big block Batman! After numerous attempts to get the owner to call me back and even one unannounced visit to his house, I finally gave up. I even "googled" his address and used their mapping program to "see" the house and yard, hoping for a view of an open garage... Hey you never know, it might be possible, but I think I will have better odds with the lottery.

This quest has truly been an eye opener for me. The market is really changing and due to the current economic status of our country, there are some incredible deals to be found. "Strike while the iron is hot" as some might say, but that is easier said then done if you do not have the monetary means to do so. Now, here are a few pictures for your viewing pleasure from my Barnquest...

Found: 1966 Pontiac Starchief Executive. This was found sitting on jack stands behind and old airport hanger. I don't think it had been washed since the Carter administration. It was missing the engine but other then that was 100 percent complete, including a nearly mint interior.

Found: 1967 Oldsmobile 442. This was actually a barn find once removed. The seller reportedly found this in a barn and bought it from the original owner. It was 100 percent original but it was also almost 100 percent junk. The car was sporting more rust then the Titanic and the interior looked like it was home to various rodents over the years. To say this car needed a complete restoration is a total understatement. Hey, I know, let's get it to run and drive it cross country! You could use old street signs to patch the huge holes in the floorboards. That might keep the rodents out...

Found: 1961 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88. This car was a 4 door hardtop that was also bought from it's original owner and was being offered for sale. In my opinion this was the bargain of the bunch, even though it was leaking more oil then the Exxon Valdez. This baby was rock stock, right down to it's original A/C compressor. Although primered, the body was super straight and rust free. The car oozed cool all the way around. Have you seen the dash on one of these?

Check out this dash! Talk about retro, this thing reeks of sixties styling. The cat eye gauges are bitchen. Even the steering wheel is cool looking. The vinyl trash bag needs to go along with the lone fuzzy dice, or would that be die?

I'll leave you with the tail shot of the Dynamic 88. Olds was heavy into the "rocket" theme during this era. The backend almost looks like a spaceship or something and the tail lights look like afterburners.

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Here is a poem that I made up last year on Christmas eve. I thought it was good enough to warrant a repost. Enjoy and happy holidays!



Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the garage
Not a engine was running, not even a Dodge.
The valves were adjusted by the owner with care,
In hopes that internal combustion soon would be there.


The teenagers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of street racing danced in their heads.
And mamma in her Starchief, and I with my tool chest,
Had just settled our cars for a long winter’s rest.


When out on the driveway there arose a bunch of valve clatter,
I sprang from the garage to see what was the matter.
Away to the roll-up I flew like a flash,
Bolting through the door in one quick dash.


The moon discs were reflecting the new-fallen snow,
And gave the lustre of an Earl Scheib paint job to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hot rod sleigh, with an eight cylinder John Deere.


With an old Nascar driver, so quick and steady,
I knew in a moment it must be Richard Petty.
More rapid than stock cars his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Jimmie! Now, Tony! Now, Jeff and Robby!
On, Clint! On, Casey! On, David and Bobby!
To the top of the race track! To the top of pit wall!
Now drag away! Drag away! Drag race away all!"


Just like the adrenalin rush you get when the green flag drops,
Lest you meet with an obstacle, after the clutch pedal pops.
So up to the top of the track the coursers they flew,
To make way for the sleigh full of parts, and Petty too.


And then with a back fire, I heard in the street,
The cackle and lope of a camshaft beat.
As I was about to go to bed, and was turning around,
Down the driveway Richard Petty came with a bound.


He was dressed in a fire suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with rubber and soot.
A bundle of car parts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a racer, just back from the track.


His eyes covered with sunglasses, his smile how merry!
His mustache so signature, his ride always cherry!
And then when he spoke in his usual southern drawl,
His voice commanded attention, from one and from all.


The crop of a feather he had tight in his hat,
Never to be removed, not even when he sat.
He had a lean face and stood proud and tall,
With more guts then most and true grit most of all!


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the shelves, and then turned with a jerk.
Laying his finger aside of his nose,
Suddenly there appeared a new tool box from Lowes!


He sprang to his sleigh, and to his race team gave a thumbs up,
Away they all raced, like drivers competing for the Sprint cup.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

©2009 Amberlight Garage