Twas The Night Before Christmas

Here is a poem that I made up last year on Christmas eve. I thought it was good enough to warrant a repost. Enjoy and happy holidays!



Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the garage
Not a engine was running, not even a Dodge.
The valves were adjusted by the owner with care,
In hopes that internal combustion soon would be there.


The teenagers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of street racing danced in their heads.
And mamma in her Starchief, and I with my tool chest,
Had just settled our cars for a long winter’s rest.


When out on the driveway there arose a bunch of valve clatter,
I sprang from the garage to see what was the matter.
Away to the roll-up I flew like a flash,
Bolting through the door in one quick dash.


The moon discs were reflecting the new-fallen snow,
And gave the lustre of an Earl Scheib paint job to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a hot rod sleigh, with an eight cylinder John Deere.


With an old Nascar driver, so quick and steady,
I knew in a moment it must be Richard Petty.
More rapid than stock cars his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Jimmie! Now, Tony! Now, Jeff and Robby!
On, Clint! On, Casey! On, David and Bobby!
To the top of the race track! To the top of pit wall!
Now drag away! Drag away! Drag race away all!"


Just like the adrenalin rush you get when the green flag drops,
Lest you meet with an obstacle, after the clutch pedal pops.
So up to the top of the track the coursers they flew,
To make way for the sleigh full of parts, and Petty too.


And then with a back fire, I heard in the street,
The cackle and lope of a camshaft beat.
As I was about to go to bed, and was turning around,
Down the driveway Richard Petty came with a bound.


He was dressed in a fire suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with rubber and soot.
A bundle of car parts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a racer, just back from the track.


His eyes covered with sunglasses, his smile how merry!
His mustache so signature, his ride always cherry!
And then when he spoke in his usual southern drawl,
His voice commanded attention, from one and from all.


The crop of a feather he had tight in his hat,
Never to be removed, not even when he sat.
He had a lean face and stood proud and tall,
With more guts then most and true grit most of all!


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the shelves, and then turned with a jerk.
Laying his finger aside of his nose,
Suddenly there appeared a new tool box from Lowes!


He sprang to his sleigh, and to his race team gave a thumbs up,
Away they all raced, like drivers competing for the Sprint cup.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

©2009 Amberlight Garage

That 70's Car Show

It might seem hard to believe, but I see signs of a major 70's icon coming back, and it's not a TV rerun. At first it was just rumors, then grumblings here and there, next a few words were written about it in a major car magazine (half serious and half joking), and finally a report that the trend was is full swing in Japan and spreading rapidly. What is this object I speak of? Well, brace yourself, because it's none other then the Van. That's right folks, the classic 70's shaggin' wagon is making a comeback, and I think I am starting to see what could be a major trend taking foothold. A little bit of research on craigslist confirmed some of my suspicions. Late 60's to mid 70's short wheel base vans seem to be selling like hotcakes, most of them within a few days of being posted. Either people are looking for storage containers to put in their yards or they are buying them to fix up.

Here is a prime candidate I found recently. It was dirt cheap too. Check out the U.S. Indy mags...







Of all the vehicles that I have bought over the years, I have never owned a van. It's not that I didn't like them, it's more like they just disappeared. Besides, I was much to involved with muscle cars to pay much attention to vans. I do recall during the van craze that a lot of the fully customized vans had names on their sides. My cousins was no exception and I clearly remember it. His van was a Blue Ford Econoline that he named "Hotel California". I think it made it into a few magazines back in the day, as it was pretty trick. For the uninformed, clueless or anyone born after 1979, I have rounded up some classic examples of the types of vans that you would have seen in the 70's...

 Here you have your classic Dodge van. Note the tinted plexi-glass "port hole" windows. These were all the rage during the van scene, that and "tear drop" windows. You may also notice the mural, CB antenna, side pipes and stamped steel mags, which I use to refer to as "sheet metal mags". For some reason Dodge seemed to be the van of choice for many. This must have been a true traveling van, hence the luggage rack, roof ladder, and trailer hitch.

Up next is the iconic mid-70's Chevy van, my personal favorite. This one is sporting a bitchin' burgandy paint job and is complete with a mini slider window, extra wide Cragar SS mags, and fog lights. Although it could really use a flare kit and maybe some side pipes!

Finally we have the fabulous Ford van, along with it's proud owner and his girlfriend. How do I know this? I don't, it's just a wild guess.. I think. This example has it all: Two tone paint with custom graphics; extra wide sheet metal mags; raised white letter tires; fog lights (they're there, trust me); chrome side pipes; tinted port hole window; CB antenna, and radiused rear wheel openings. Extra bonus points were awarded for the 70's belt buckle, matching T-shirts, and cut-off shorts!

Man, now I'm really jonesing for a van. Imagine the looks you would get driving one of these down the street. Hey, disbelief is considered a look, unless it's followed by upchucking, then it doesn't count. The only problem with me getting a van would be that by the time I got it on the road, hybrids will be considered classics! Maybe I'll stick to the reruns...

UPDATE -
 Ok, I like never do updates unless something FUBAR happens or I am simply blown away. Well, put this in the latter catagory and be prepared to be blown away. The burgandy mid-70's Chevy van pictured above, the one I called "my personal favorite", has been totally fixed up and has now become my all time favorite. It had come to my attention that a certain van blog referenced the Amberlight Garage and of course this post. That's when I spied photos of this heavy Chevy all tricked out. Feast your eyes on this beauty...

For more pictures and info on this bitchin' machine check out the owners blog at www.so-brian.com